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:iconarcherofthedark: More from ArcheroftheDark


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Submitted on
December 25, 2010
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  Sometimes I want to just lie down and cry. Just cry and cry until there's nothing left inside me. No thoughts, no pain, nothing but the slow beat of my heart as it reminds me that I have to go on living.  That when I get up there will be a new day that will bring a new wave of pain to my heart. I want to hate you for what you do to me, but how can I? How can I hate you for not being as deluded as I am? How can I hate you when it's me with this problem, this burning need to be loved by you? I can't, it wouldn't be fair. Hating you would be impossible anyway, because I love you too much.
  I ask myself all the time what's wrong with me, what could be stopping you from loving me. I have a list as long as my arm, and it should at least stop me from fantasising about a life with you, but it fails every time. I find myself wanting you more and more each day, and dying inside when you make it clear that it'll never happen. How did I let myself get this far? How did I let you touch me so deeply inside when I can barely get under your skin, if at all? I crave you from morning until night and you...I'm not sure what you crave, but it isn't me.
  Sleep is the only time you're not always with me, and when you are its not really you, more like a figment who soothes my broken heart with soft kisses and gentle hugs. It's a struggle getting you to touch me outside of dreams, so I know these are just my own desires being acted out and nothing to do with the real world. I find myself wanting to join the world of dreams a lot more often these days. They're my oblivion, my escape into blessed silence.
  No, I can't blame you for my stupid mistakes, my own insanity. I doubt you have even the slightest inkling that you're slowly driving me crazy, that just seeing you in person makes my whole body hyper-aware of everything from your scent to the little twitches you make subconsciously. You're so  deeply embedded in my being that when you're near it's like all my senses are attuned to you instantly, and all I want to do is crawl under your skin and stay there. But I can't because you don't want it, you don't want me so close and so intense.
  Now I'm lost, and so full of unshared love that I'm like a ticking time-bomb, and I wonder who will pick up the pieces when I finally go off.
Writings writings writings.

Emotional, I know, lol.

It's lesbianic!

Enjoy! (don't cry D: )

I thankyou in advance for all faves made!

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:iconultraouranfanatic:
UltraOuranFanatic Aug 7, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
My god. This is so beautiful, it almost made me cry. This perfectly describes how much I loved a person, yet they never loved me back. I want to thank you for writing such a gorgeous piece.
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:iconarcherofthedark:
I want to thank you for giving me such a wonderful comment. I'm sorry you also had to go through this and I very much hope that time has passed for you as it did for me. Thankyou for reading and understanding and showing me that I wasn't alone. And thankyou for faving.
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:iconultraouranfanatic:
UltraOuranFanatic Aug 15, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome.
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:iconfelicia-neko:
Felicia-Neko Jan 14, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
i know how that feels...
this made me emotional that's for sure...
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:iconarcherofthedark:
Aww, I hope you feel better soon, m'dear. And thankyou for faving ^^
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:iconvaunwolf:
VaunWolf Jan 13, 2011  Hobbyist
This is written amazingly well. I'm sure many, not just myself can relate to the pain and hurt that is portraied through this. Well done, and may I ask if this is personal or just something you came up with?

Again, well done :D
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:iconarcherofthedark:
Thankyou very much ^^ I'm glad it touched you so deeply. They are the feelings of an RP char that me and a friend use, she's in unrequited love with her best friend and this is how she makes her feel sometimes. Thankyou for faving! ^^
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:iconvaunwolf:
VaunWolf Jan 14, 2011  Hobbyist
you're very welcome. It sound like it would be in interesting story if written out. and you're very welcome for th fave. You are an awesome writer by theway :D
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:iconplazma-burst:
thx 4 understanding : )
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:iconplazma-burst:
omg. i'm so sorry 4 removing ur poem from my fav. collection, it's just the girl i was telling u about, she was going through my profile and i was scared out of my mind that she might find it, so i deleted it.
again, i'm truly sorry
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